Contributed by Angeline N. Ong

** No Big Deal …….. **
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “ What are you in here for ?”
The second kid says, “ I’m here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous. ”
The first kid says, “ You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done last year. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze !”
The second kid then asks, “ What are you here for ?”
The first kid says, “ A circumcision. ”
And the second kid says, “ Whoa ! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”
 
** NO CHANGE **
Doctor: “ What’s the condition of the boy who swallowed the quarter ?”
Nurse: “ No change yet, doctor.”
 
** Hurts all over ….. **
A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor:
” It hurts when I press here ”. ( his side )
“ And when I press here ” ( the other side )
“ And here ”. ( his leg )
“ And here, here, here ”. ( his other leg, & both arms )
So, the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong…..
“ You’ve got a broken finger !”
 
** Cannot remember ! **
A distraught man ran into the doctor’s office.
“ Doc !” the man screamed, “ I’ve lost my memory !”
“ When did this happen ?” asked the doctor.
The man looked at him and said, “ When did what happen ?”
 
Actual excerpts from student science exam. papers !!!
* three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, & caterpillars.
* the process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
* A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
* to collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube
* the Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
* the moon is a planet like the Earth, only it is even deader.