2nd Prize Winner

“Coping with Menopause”

Life for me has not exactly been a bed of roses. Early into my marriage, I had to face the possibility of a lonely married life as I had problems with conception. What seemed so natural in others was a major problem with me. Every month my husband and I faced the disappointment and trauma of unsuccessful, expensive medical treatments. Our faith helped us ride these storms in our lives, trusting that the one above knew best!

The onset of menopause hit me in my late thirties. I was not spared the discomfort it brought. There were days I got up feeling very disillusioned with life. The thought of having to face another day was agony. I sank into pockets of deep depression questioning my purpose in life. My self-esteem was at its lowest. Physically, I could see changes to my skin and face. Moisturizers were soaked up like a sponge and tiny lines were visible around my eyes. I began outgrowing my clothes with the slowing down of my metabolic rate. Every morsel of food that passed through my lips ended up on my hips. Sex was also a painful experience and this reduced drastically my sex drive!

I realized that there were two options open to me. I could do nothing and let nature take its course or take charge of my life, both physically and psychologically. I opted for the latter.

In regaining control of my life I was determined to equip myself with as much knowledge as I could for an informed decision to be made. A decision made the best fits my own personal needs. I needed to understand better this metamorphosis within me before I changed into something irreversible! I read as widely as I could, spoke with friends, consulted doctors and manufacturers about their products.

There was considerable caution then over the use of hormone replacement therapy, associating a link to breast cancer. There were opposing opinions on this. After careful consideration, however, I felt that the benefits of HRT overweighed its risks and opted to be on Plentiva 5. Attending a workshop by the Malaysian Menopause Society entitled “Graceful and Healthy Ageing” in 1999 further reinforced my belief in HRT. I rationalized that I was merely replacing an essential deficiency in my body which my system could no longer naturally provide. I believe, however, that one has to be responsible to oneself in the decision to use HRT and as such I subject myself to regular check ups, cancer marker tests and mammograms.

I never realized that the daily consumption of two tiny pills versus a handful of an assortment of medication could change my life so drastically. They helped me regain control of life. I gradually regained my confidence and zest of life. I found the energy and motivation to do new and challenging things with my life. I was determined to make menopause a positive experience. I felt young again and even took the challenge of adopting a pair of twin babies! They have brought so much joy to my home and my life over these past 11 years.

Today, I am very much in control of my life. In sorting our life’s priorities, I gave up a five-figure salary job to focus on my family and to work from home. I and now doing what I liked doing rather than what I had to do for the money. I play a vital role in church activities and serve strangers in a counseling center at night. In so doing, I feel a sense of contentment and inner peace, something money cannot buy.

My health has never been better. I do not succumb to coughs and colds as easily as before. I believe that my strengthened system is a result of a healthier lifestyle. I am now leading this new balance in my life. I have more time to “smell the flowers” and appreciate the beauty in the many things I have always taken for granted like sunsets, cloud formations, music, books, art. A greater consciousness of God’s handiwork!!

Working from the home has provided me greater control over my time and flexible work hours. I am able therefore to participate in line dancing with the other ladies in the neighbourhood, three times weekly. This vigorous activity not only helps burn the calories but makes me a happier person sharing a common passion with my new found friends. The workouts relieve me of all accumulated stresses and tensions from the week.

The friendships forged with these ladies have taken the relationships to a different level. We gather monthly for tea to celebrate each other’s birthdays. As our composition is multi-racial we get invited to each other’s homes to celebrate the country’s main festivities in a true spirit of “Muhibbah”. During these gatherings, we leave our domestic problems at home and focus on having good, clean fun enjoying each other’s company and accepting each other for what we are.

The past 53 years have taught me many valuable lessons in life, both good and bad. I have gained from these experiences and possess the confidence to offer words of wisdom and share my life’s experiences with friends. These are invaluable lessons one can only learn from the “school of hard knocks”. I do not profess to save the world but am just privileged to be able to be a source of encouragement to those I happen to come in contact with in my journey through life.

When I was younger, and in the prime of my life, I was terrified at the thought of aging. Today, as I live through the golden years of my life, I realize that with correct knowledge and the right attitude, one can age gracefully and enjoy this beautiful phase in one’s life. We only have this one life to live and we have the power and freedom of choice to determine our happiness. Only we can make ourselves happy. We cannot sit around and wait for others to make us happy. We could be waiting forever!

With this outlook, I feel I have more than coped with what could be a most traumatic period in a woman’s life. Fear of the unknown and lack of self-esteem are “demons” in our lives we must overcome. Very often we underestimate our strength and power to conquer and rise above all obstacles that impede us from enjoying a fulfilling life as we move into our twilight years. A life of peace and contentment we are all meant to have.

By
Ms Angeline Lesslar
Subang Jaya