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What am I?
A useful tool, commonly found in the range of eight inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sex.

It is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.

In use, it is inserted almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again, many time in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsating sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.

When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft.

After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day. But often much less.

What am I ?

The answer to the riddle is non other than your very own ………. TOOTH BRUSH!!!

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Fun Weight Loss Tip
To make your hips & thighs look slim on the beach, dig 2 tunnels under your thighs & make a dent in the sand for your but. Put a towel on top & sit down. Hey presto, no bulging thighs & hips.

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Mathematics
There was a maths class and the teacher picked a youngster in the middle of the class to answer a question.

“If there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with a gun, how many would be left?”
“None”, said the child, “ ‘cos the rest would fly away.”
“The real answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you were thinking.”
“Then I’ve got a question for you,” said the child. “If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a milk bar and one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?”
“Well…..,”said the teacher nervously, “the one sucking the cone?”
“No,” said the boy, the one with the wedding ring on her finger. “But I like the way you were thinking.”

Funny Diet Tips
Don't take our humorous diet tips too seriously, they're just for fun!
Success is when you can look beyond food...and look down and see your feet.

• To make your hips and thighs look slim on the beach, dig two tunnels under your thighs and make a small dent in the sand for your bottom. Place your towel over the top and sit in the dug out area. Hey presto, no bulging thighs and hips.
• Always stand 3/4 on for photographs ..... really slimming
• Stand next to a person fatter than you whenever possible and never ever befriend a real skinny!!!
• Always eat in private, if people never see you eat, they'll believe you when you say you have a thyroid problem
• If you have a problem with eating too much in the evenings, go to bed at 7.30 pm every night and ask your partner to hand cuff you to the bed, you never know, you may solve two problems in one, by spicing up your sex life at the same time ;)
• If you do know someone who's naturally skinny, have them come and live with you for two weeks and eat exactly what they eat at exactly the same times. You are guaranteed to lose weight!
• Con your friends into thinking how good you're looking lately ..... study and memorize your most flattering pose in a mirror and ensure when anyone sees you, you strike the pose..... note, this only works if you then don't move again until they've left the room.
• Cross your legs at your ankles. Your thighs and calves will look slimmer.
• Get a tan. A tan helps you look thinner
• Whenever a friend calls round, tell them you're on your way to the gym, word will get round about how fit and healthy you are.... and you may feel it necessary to prove it once in a while
• 100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise!
  Now can it get any easier than that?