contributed by Angeline N. Ong

Marriage
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him up at 5.50am for a flight to Europe. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “ please wake me tomorrow morning at 5.00am”. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ….it said “ It’s 5.00am, wake up.”

Fishy Story
A man calls home to his wife and says, “ Honey, I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. “ Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas. ”
 
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but, being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.
 
The following weekend, he comes home a little tired but other-wise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.
He says, “ Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you ?”
The wife replies, “ I did, they were in your tacklebox. ”

Marriage 2
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, “ here lies my wife – Cold as Ever.”
“Yeah? “ she replies. “ When you die, I’m getting you aheadstone that reads, “ Here Lies my Husband – Stiff at Last !”

Bad Tooth
A man and his wife entered the dentist’s office. “ I want a tooth pulled, ” the man said. “ We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff.
“ You are a very brave man, ” remarked the dentist. “ Which tooth is it?”
“Show him your bad tooth honey, said the man to his wife.

Marriage 3
A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, “ And you are no good in bed either, ”and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, “ What took you so long to answer the phone?” She says, “I was in bed.” “In bed this late …..doing what?” he asked. “Getting a second opinion !”